I'm Starving

Starving is one of the words that sum up how I’ve been feeling lately. I long for a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, and to further grasp the Word of God, but I feel like this will never become reality, only to remain a fantasy. I may not ‘feel’ I’m growing, but my friend thankfully reminded me, that I am in the process of being pruned by the Creator, but I might only see the results in the forthcoming seasons.

Mingled thoughts distract me and seem impossible to escape sometimes. This particularly frustrates me when I’m at Church or Bible study. I’m aware that Satan likes to distract me the most during these times, which means I have the chance to come up with a mechanism to defeat temptation. Prayer and self discipline, are the tools I use to allow God to shape me and rule my mind through the message being shared at Church or Recharge (bible study), rather than Satan.

Yesterday, on the lovely sunny day it was, Satan didn't have much control over me as i was encouraged by my Pastor's message, reflected on John 4:34-38 which says:

34 Then Jesus explained: “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work. 35 You know the saying, ‘Four months between planting and harvest.’ But I say, wake up and look around. The fields are already ripe for harvest. 36 The harvesters are paid good wages, and the fruit they harvest is people brought to eternal life. What joy awaits both the planter and the harvester alike! 37 You know the saying, ‘One plants and another harvests.’ And it’s true. 38 I sent you to harvest where you didn’t plant; others had already done the work, and now you will get to gather the harvest.”

Sometimes I feel useless and inadequate to be used by God. Nevertheless, my constant prayer and desire is to attract people to a lifestyle driven by Jesus Christ, and be used to bring Him glory. I want to plant and harvest!

Towards the end of this year, along with a friend of mine, I’ll be going on a Missionary Trip to Romania. More than anything I want to be used by God and deepen my relationship with Him. I want to come back with a changed heart, a little closer to being a woman after God’s own heart, to have a clearer understanding of God’s Word and to be confident in sharing the Gospel and to be a testimony of His love.

Please keep me in your prayers as I walk this journey and yearn to be recognized as woman who fears the Lord and influence the people surrounding me.

comfort in suffering

I decided to pick up and read the devotional book called Our Daily Bread. My mum is a big fan, and always gives me a copy when she receives some in the mail.

The words from today's topic touched my heart. "The God who washed away our sins will also wipe away our tears," is just what i needed to be reminded of. The topic was focused around 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 which says:

3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5 For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 6 Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. 7 We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

He truly IS the source of all comfort. There is no one on earth who knows me as much as He does. There is no one on earth who feels my pain as He does. There is no one on earth who is as merciful as He is. There is no one on earth who comprehends the depth of my cries the way He does. There is no one on earth who loves me as much as He does.

I am here to serve. I am here for you.

Yours in Christ,
Becky

Delight In Difficulties?!

9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV)

Just like Paul, I’ve lived through weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecution and difficulty, even though I’m young. As long as I live in this temporary world, I will be experiencing hardship, persecution, difficulty etc - I can’t run away from them that easily! I couldn't imagine what Paul felt at that moment when he finally understood that God’s grace truly was sufficient in his life. I know I felt relief reading this scripture, and overflowed with joy realising that the same grace that was provided for Paul, is also provided for me.

I am so glad I was reminded of this truth while reading What happens when women walk in faith by Lysa TerKeurst. I haven’t had the happiest days this week; I’ve actually had quite the opposite. I know that hurdles will always be placed in the race I’m running. The reward at the end of the race is so worth it though, I can’t give up now, even if it may be the easier option. I am thankful that God’s grace is enough, and that He is holding my hand, and won’t let me stumble (Psalm 37:24). He is running the race with me!

I know I will probably forget the value of this scripture during my struggles - I am only human after all. It is so good to know I have a merciful and caring God. I continue to pray that God will be my strength, and shelter, and that He will indeed guide each step I take, one day at a time according to His purpose for my life.

Yours in Christ,
Becky