Starving is one of the words that sum up how I’ve been feeling lately. I long for a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, and to further grasp the Word of God, but I feel like this will never become reality, only to remain a fantasy. I may not ‘feel’ I’m growing, but my friend thankfully reminded me, that I am in the process of being pruned by the Creator, but I might only see the results in the forthcoming seasons.
Mingled thoughts distract me and seem impossible to escape sometimes. This particularly frustrates me when I’m at Church or Bible study. I’m aware that Satan likes to distract me the most during these times, which means I have the chance to come up with a mechanism to defeat temptation. Prayer and self discipline, are the tools I use to allow God to shape me and rule my mind through the message being shared at Church or Recharge (bible study), rather than Satan.
Yesterday, on the lovely sunny day it was, Satan didn't have much control over me as i was encouraged by my Pastor's message, reflected on John 4:34-38 which says:
34 Then Jesus explained: “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work. 35 You know the saying, ‘Four months between planting and harvest.’ But I say, wake up and look around. The fields are already ripe for harvest. 36 The harvesters are paid good wages, and the fruit they harvest is people brought to eternal life. What joy awaits both the planter and the harvester alike! 37 You know the saying, ‘One plants and another harvests.’ And it’s true. 38 I sent you to harvest where you didn’t plant; others had already done the work, and now you will get to gather the harvest.”
Sometimes I feel useless and inadequate to be used by God. Nevertheless, my constant prayer and desire is to attract people to a lifestyle driven by Jesus Christ, and be used to bring Him glory. I want to plant and harvest!
Towards the end of this year, along with a friend of mine, I’ll be going on a Missionary Trip to Romania. More than anything I want to be used by God and deepen my relationship with Him. I want to come back with a changed heart, a little closer to being a woman after God’s own heart, to have a clearer understanding of God’s Word and to be confident in sharing the Gospel and to be a testimony of His love.
Please keep me in your prayers as I walk this journey and yearn to be recognized as woman who fears the Lord and influence the people surrounding me.
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Tough Love
12 years ago
4 comments:
I'm definitely praying for you!
The message yesterday really encouraged me too!
Look after yourself, and have a good week!
I am praying for you too, you are an inspiration and encouragement to me! God is at work in your life, don't get disracted by the hard times! That is such an awesome verse about Jesus's food being the will of God! I was challenged by that passage too!
Lots of love ....:)
i'm positive you'll come back with a changed heart because it takes a hard heart not to be changed on a missions trip. be excited to see what God will do...
I'm praying for you... from what I've seen, God has been changing your heart, and He is continuing to do so. Don't lose hope, and make the most of EVERY day, and EVERY opportunity, because there is a lesson to be learnt there.
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